Secret of Self-esteem

Many of us have an inner critic within us who is constantly belittle ourselves with harsh judgments. It makes us to doubt ourselves and feel inadequate to the circumstances of life. It is the enemy within. It is good to know our mistakes. But it is a grave mistake to exaggerate our mistakes and bury our self confidence. 

Recently I read the following passage of Dr.Maxwell Maltz, the famous author of Psycho-Cybernetics. It gives us a very good prescription to achieve self-esteem. Please read the beautiful message and follow the advice.

- N.Ganeshan


Secret of Self-esteem

Stop carrying around a mental picture of yourself as a person less capable than others, by making unfair apples-to-oranges comparisons. Celebrate your victories small or large, recognize and build on your strengths, and continually remind yourself that you are not your mistakes.

The word "esteem" literally means to appreciate the worth of. Why do men stand in awe of the stars, the moon, the immensity of the sea, the beauty of a flower or a sunset, and at the same time downgrade themselves? Did not the same Creator make us? Is not the human being the most marvelous creation of all? This appreciation of your own worth is not egotism unless you assume that you made yourself and should take some of the credit. Do not downgrade the product merely because you haven't used it correctly. Don't childishly blame the product for your own errors like the schoolboy who said, "This typewriter can't spell."

But the biggest secret of self-esteem is this: Begin to appreciate other people more; show respect for any human being merely because he or she is a child of God and therefore a thing of value. Stop and think when you're dealing with people. You're dealing with unique, individual creations of the Creator of all. Practice treating other, people as if they had value, and, surprisingly, your own self-esteem will go up. For real self-esteem is not derived from the great things you've done, the things you own, the mark you've made, but from an appreciation of yourself for what you are-a child of God. When you Come to this realization, however, you must necessarily conclude that all other people are to be appreciated for the same reason.

- Maxwell Maltz

ASK YOU SHALL RECEIVE

ASK YOU SHALL RECEIVE

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7)” is not an empty phrase. It is really meaningful. According to the Law of Attraction, the universe is unlimited. There can never be a lack of anything that we want if we follow the Law of Attraction. There is more than enough to go around and it is unnecessary to take what others may have. The Law of Attraction dictates that everything is possible.

There are two reasons for our not getting what we have asked for. First is we are vague in our desires. Most of us only have a vague and misty concept of what we want. If we can't get clear about what we want and why we want it, then we are like a person in a restaurant who keeps waffling between menu items, never able to come to a decision. Until we place an order, the waiter can't bring us our food. Until we get clarity and until our desire is intense nothing will come out of it.

The second is, we don’t act upon it. If the desire is intense we will definitely do necessary things to make the desire fulfilled. If we don’t act we will not receive. It is simple. If we have no real intention of acting, then why bother asking? Acting doesn't always mean some huge undertaking. Usually it's just a small incremental change.  It is listening to the little gut feelings, the still small voice that tells us to do this or that. If we keep on acting, we will surely receive the blessings we seek.  

The idea is nicely explained in the little poem by Jessie B. Rittenhouse -

”I bargained with Life for a penny,

And Life would pay no more,

However I begged at evening

When I counted my scanty store;

For Life is a just employer,

And gives you what you ask,

But once you have set the wages,

Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial’s hire,

Only to learn, dismayed

That any wage I had asked of Life,

Life would have willingly paid.”

- N.Ganeshan

—

How to overcome your cravings?

Some cravings keep coming again and again. Someone who craves chocolate can’t resist eating some, but if addicted, they would eat nothing else. Even in milder forms we do not seem to have a free choice or control over them. It happens because of a repetitive pattern imprinted in the brain. Some times it goes to extreme and becomes an addiction. Deepak Chopra says that you can always change it. You can always reset the reactions in times of cravings. He says:


"When a craving arises, don’t make it an either/or choice.


Instead of either giving in or resisting, do one of the following: walk away, postpone your choice, find a distraction, pause and watch yourself, or substitute another pleasure.


Don’t think of defeating your craving. Think instead that you are gradually erasing an imprint.


When you feel discouraged for giving in, be with your feelings instead of pushing them away.


Realize why appeasing a craving never works: you can never get enough of what you didn’t want in the first place.


Find out what you really want, whether it’s love, comfort, approval, or security. These are the basic needs that cravings try to substitute for.


Pursue your real need. If you do, the craving will automatically lose its grip and in time will vanish.


If for any reason you can turn away from your old craving, seize that moment, even if your craving soon returns. Every small victory imprints the brain in a new pattern. Don’t see this as a
temporary victory—see it as a sign that you can find the switch that turns your craving off."

Try it and be benefited.


- N.Ganeshan

Faith Vs Superstition

Faith and superstition cannot be easily differentiated by many people. They may look same. Yet there is a vast difference between the two. 

Faith is based on understanding, inner knowing and trust. Superstition is based on ignorance, fear and greed.

There are many things in life we accept with faith that cannot be proven with logic. But we know it to be true in our deeper self. Faith arises out of internal sources.

Superstition is irrational belief. It is also not provable with logic. But it is believed by people based on vague references in unauthentic sources and scriptures. Superstition arises out of external sources.

Mere collection of facts from books or other external sources is not enough to give us genuine faith. We cannot have faith until we ourselves gained conviction through direct experience or inner knowing. When we know a thing definitely whole world cannot shake our faith.

Generally, doctrines, ceremonies and rituals are originally created with special meaning to lead us to truth. So long as we follow them with the right spirit and understanding the meaning it may lead to us have faith some day. But when we forget the real meaning and aim of such observances and follow them mechanically it becomes superstition.

Faith is omnipotent and all powerful. Jesus Christ said, “For verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place, and it shall remove; and nothing shall impossible unto you”. But superstition is weakening and degenerating in nature.

Swami Vivekananda said “I would rather see every one of you rank atheists than superstitious fools, for the atheist is alive and you can make something out of him. But if superstition enters, the brain is gone, the brain is softening, degradation has seized upon the life. Avoid these two”.

So let us have faith and remove all superstitions from our life.

_ N.Ganeshan

Some Wise Quotes – 2

  

And a proverb haunts my mind

As a spell is cast

“The mill cannot grind

With the water that is past”

-         Sarah Doudney “The lesson of the watermill”

­­­­­­­­

A man that is young in years may be old in hours if he has lost no time.               

-         Bacon

They can conquer who believe they can. It is he who has done the deed once who does not shrink from attempting it again.

-         Emerson “Society and solitude”

We in some unknown power’s employ

Move on a vigorous line:

Can neither when we will, enjoy;

Nor when we will resign.

-         Mathew Arnold “The New Sirens”

It is the misfortune of worthy people that they are cowards.

-         Voltaire

Cruelty ever proceeds from a vile mind and often from a cowardly heart.

-         Sir John Harington

A spoilt child never loves its mother.

-         Sir Henry Taylor “Notes from Life”

We are easily deceived by that which we love.

-         Molie’re “Le Traftuffe”

I sit beside a lonely fire

And pray for wisdom yet-

For calmness to remember

Of courage to forget.

-         Charles Hamilton Aide “Remember or forget”

A poor man’s debt makes a great noise.

-         Thomas Fuller “Gnomologia”

Compiled by N.Ganeshan

Some Hard Truths Of Life

Ignoring the hard truths of life is a foolish thing to do, though it is some thing we all do from time to time. These truths can be a little harsh, but we are not doing ourselves any good by ignoring them. Facing these truths can be frightening at first. But once we begin to accept them instead of avoiding them, we can be surprised how many paths open up for us. The more accurate our view of reality is, the more power we have to change it. Accepting these hard truths is the first step in claiming that power.

1. No One Can Change Our Life Like We Can: Nothing really will change in our life without our consent. Others may influence us. But only we can bring real change. So blaming God, parents, fate, circumstances and holding them will not help us in anyway. Many of us keep getting into situations and relationships where bad or unpleasant things happen, and we blame everything and everyone else. The truth is, patterns don’t lie. If we have a history of attracting these people and situations, it is our choice and our problem. Before jumping into the blame-game, we should take a look at our pattern. I’ll bet if we change something we are doing, feeling, or attracting, we will change everything else.

2. Someone Will Always Have More - That’s right, someone will always have more, be more, or do more than us. As there are billions of people on the planet, it is surely bound to happen. Let us accept it. Envy and anxiety will not change the fact. Life is not a race. We need not prove anything to anyone. Enjoy your precious life. Nothing matters more.

3. No One Thinks About Us as Often as We Do, Or As Harshly.-  We are our biggest and worst critics. Many times we are handicapped by worrying what others might think or say. The fact is no one thinks of us as often as we do. They live in their own world and they have their own worries and cares. We may occupy their minds only a very short time. So it is better not give much undue weight to others’ opinions.

4. We Cannot Fight Reality / Nature – Our likes and dislikes cannot change the reality of the world. Nature has its own course. Our fighting with it will not alter its course. It can only make our life more miserable. Let us accept reality. Then we will be able to see what we could do with available resources.

5. None of This Will Matter after sometime- Always remember that nothing lasts forever. Forever is a lie. Some failures and things out of our control are nothing to be ashamed of in this short span of life. What ever may be our problems today, we will not feel the same after sometime. Do not take anything seriously. Let us not feel like the world was crashing down around us. Tomorrow is another day. The frustration, drama, relationship quarrels, and heated emotions we feel today won’t matter after sometime. We can renew ourselves at any point of our life if we are really committed.

• N.Ganeshan

Negative Emotions Can Drain Your Powers

Learn Mind’s Secrets – 7

You will achieve all that you desire if you use the techniques explained so far, provided your emotions are positive and in alignment with those desires! Though mind powers can never be exhausted by use, they can be drained or wasted by negative emotions. If you entertain negative emotions continuously they will drain all your powers - both physical and mental.

Your immune system tends to lower its resistance level in the presence of continuous negative emotions and there is a draining of your bodily energy needed to protect you against disorders. Many diseases occur when a lowered immune system allows microbes to develop and proliferate.

Most of the time, our cells are preoccupied with renewal of themselves.  About 90% of each cell’s energy is taken up with the vital task of building proteins and creating new DNA and RNA. However when the brain thinks there is a threat this process is set aside so that it can ensure your body has enough energy to propel your muscles to either fight of fly from the scene and get yourself out of danger. In order to do this the anabolic metabolism changes over to catabolic metabolism which, far from rejuvenating your cells, actually breaks them down.

When the body introduces adrenaline into the blood stream it causes a whole set of reactions within the body. For example it causes the blood pressure to rise, muscles to tense, breathing to become shallow, digestion to stop, the skin begins to sweat, while digestion, reproduction and other processes that will not be needed for the moment are turned down, among many other things. Of course as a temporary defense mechanism it is vital but if this condition is not stopped in time the effects on our body can be disastrous

During the experiments with Pavlov's dogs, it was proved that the physiological response of salivation during the anticipation of food could be anchored by an external stimulus like the sound of a bell. An associative neurological circuit was consequently established in the dog's brain that later allowed just the sound of a bell, even though food is not given, to elicit the salivation response. Throughout your life, haphazard anchors get neurologically created whenever your mind and body are strongly involved together and a specific stimulus is repeatedly provided at the peak of a certain state. Afterwards, whenever the stimulus that acts as an anchor is provided, your response is to experience the state once again. If you do what you've always done in the past, you'll continue to get what you've always gotten as a result.

In the present speedy life style, we have created a whole new set of so many things to worry about. Our need to feel in control may be threatened by imposed workloads, tight deadlines, and crowded schedules. We may feel threatened by traffic jams, delayed flights, incompetent staff, unexpected demands and anything else that might cost us time. Our need for self-esteem, recognition and approval can be threatened by the fear of failure, the fear of looking foolish in front of others, fear of criticism and the fear of being rejected. Uncertainty or anything else that makes us feel insecure can likewise be perceived as a threat.

Such threats are unique to humans; we can imagine -and thus worry about – things that no other living thing could possibly conceive of. The trouble is, our biological evolution has not caught up with our mental evolution. Our bodies respond to these psychological threats just as they would to any physical threat. Usually these turn out to be a false alarm, but the body cannot unwind and recover so quickly to a state of ease, as the second it took to jump to alert. The body seldom has time to recover from one alarm before the next one has triggered. Before long our bodies end up in a permanent state of underlying tension. This background tension then feeds back and begins to affect our thinking, emotions and behavior. Our judgment deteriorates, we tend to make more mistakes, we may feel depressed, hostile towards others, act less rationally, and so on. The toll on our bodies manifests in various ways: aches and pains, indigestion, insomnia, high blood pressure, allergies, illness - sometimes leading to premature death.

Moreover, your emotions (how you feel) are quite literally indicators that point to the underlying driving force, or the magnet that attracts the events, conditions, and circumstances that you experience in your life on a day to day basis. The emotions that you choose to experience and the feelings that you feel are the determining factor as to how each and every one of your life events unfold and are brought into physical existence.

The emotions that you experience and the thoughts that drive them, like everything in the Universe are at their core pure energy. Like all energy, both the thoughts that you think and the emotions that you allow yourself to experience as a result of those thoughts emit and project an outgoing vibrational frequency that attracts to it self energies of a harmonious vibrational frequency.

So anyone, who wants to use mind powers fully, should not entertain negative emotions or feelings constantly. Because they not only drain the powers of mind and create more situations to create more such negative emotions or feelings by unintentionally programming subconscious mind negatively.

(To be continued)

- N.Ganeshan