THE MESSAGE

Lalitha awoke in the dark. She knew without looking at the clock that dawn was still hours away. Turning, tossing, oppressed by sorrows, she watched the vehicles’ lights flicker on the ceiling. Finally she got up and went to the window. There was silence everywhere. That stillness was not possible in the day light. As she watched, the far off stars seemed to pulse and quiver. Her husband Shankar was very fond of watching stars at nights. Her husband’s memory made her heart heavy with aching loneliness…. 

She always considered herself a strong and independent woman. But she didn’t know the pain of loneliness until her husband died of cancer. 

She missed her husband Shankar very much. She missed his smile, his jokes, and his loving support. They loved each other, they liked each other, and they respected each other. They finished each other's sentences and shared the daily crossword puzzle and word jumble. He was the most understanding person she had ever seen. He helped her even in house chores like washing, cleaning and cooking. Their sons made fun of him. He said patiently “You see, in marriage, there is no scorecard. You do little things for each other to make the other's life easier. If you think of it as helping the person you love, you don't become annoyed with doing the washing or cooking, or any task, because you're doing it out of love.” 

Though he died three weeks ago, still she felt his presence everywhere in that old house. She remembered the wonderful times together and how she had always felt protected and cherished by the loving man. She felt grief for the loss she was to endure, the words of love that had comforted her earlier. The old house was flooded with his memories. When her sons requested her to go with them to their houses in far away cities, she refused to leave the house because of that reason. Finally her sons and their families left her alone… 

Last week she wrote in her diary, “Living in an empty house is not easy. There is no one to greet you, and the chair opposite yours at the dinner table is empty. The house seems to echo from the silence and you shed a tear as you remember that you are now alone. So many years together, so many memories you two created together are all you have left. Losing a loved one changes your entire life, especially when the loved one was also your best friend….” 

She watched the stars gradually wink out. The moon paled. A strip of light began to blossom on the eastern horizon. Except for a single bird, repeating one note over and over, the whole world is as still as a pond on a windless day. Suddenly sun rays began to cut through the morning shadows. Pink and orange clouds drifted across the pale blue sky. Her sixtieth birthday arrived. The day seemed to start to fuel the grief over one who would not be here to share it… 

Shankar was always the first person to wish her happy birthday with bouquet of roses. She loved roses. So he always wished her with beautiful roses. "To my love," he would say, presenting her a extravagant bouquet. She missed his love, his flowers and his wishes in this birthday. For a moment she let the aching memory fill her. 

Suddenly she saw a florist's van turned onto her Street. She followed it with her eyes. It was moving slowly. Then the driver parked the van in front of her house. Who would be sending her flowers? She wondered. Her Sons? No, her sons never remembered her birthday. And she had no living friend or relatives who cared that much for her. 

Carrying a bouquet of beautiful roses a neatly dressed young man came out of the van. He checked her door number and climbed her door steps and knocked her door. Her hands trembled as she straightened her hair. She thought, “There’s something wrong. He must have come to the wrong address”. 

"Yes?" she said, after opening the door. 

"Good Morning ma'am," the man said pleasantly. "This flower delivery is for Mrs.Lalitha” 

“I’m Lalitha” 

He politely handed over the bouquet of roses and left. 

The rich smell of roses engulfed her. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths. She opened her eyes and saw the beautiful roses unbelievingly. Then she noticed a small white envelope attached with the bouquet. On the envelope she read the words “To my Love” her husband’s handwriting. Her heart was pounding as she picked the envelope. She couldn’t believe her eyes. 

With trembling hands, she opened the envelope. There was a letter inside with her husband’s neat handwriting. She read his letter- 

Dearest, 

I know you are still living in our home alone and grieving. In life nothing is forever. In my absence, your life is changed and changing. Accepting the reality, please move forward, my love, and come out of grief. 

Going forward and healing from grief doesn't mean forgetting about the person you lost. Getting back to enjoying your life doesn't mean you no longer miss your loved one. And how long it takes until you start to feel better isn't a measure of how much you loved the person. 

In truth, I didn’t leave you all alone. Whenever you think of me, I’ll be always with you in spirit. If you are not happy I will not be happy even in heaven. Like old days, find happiness in small acts of kindness and help to others. The day will become brighter and your life will go on — even if it'll never be quite the same. I’ll be observing you in spirit. So, be happy my dear and let me rest in peace. 

I wish you a very happy birthday! 

With Love 

Shankar” 

Finally she understood. Before his death her husband had arranged with the florist to deliver the roses and his message on her birthday. Her face streamed with tears. His love and concern moved her deeply. 

She read the letter again and again. She understood what he was trying to say. For the last three weeks she was living in her own sorrow losing contact with the outer world… 

She looked out of window. Outside it was very cold. She saw people bundled up in warm coats going about their busy lives. Opposite to her house a beggar woman was sitting on the roadside dressed in a torn old sari. Beside her were a few plastic bags of belongings. She looked down when anyone came near her, and shyly looked up to glance when they went by. She had nothing to protect her against the cold. 

Lalitha took a new blanket from her wardrobe and Rs.100/- from her purse and walked up to her and gave her. The beggar looked at her with surprise. Slowly tears welled up in her eyes and she said faintly, “Thank you amma”. 

Her husband used to do such little acts of kindness voluntarily to others. Seeing the beggar’s happiness, Lalitha felt a great satisfaction. She felt as if her husband was watching her from above. She looked at the blue sky and smiled with tears. She came back to her house and life. She decided that hereafter her remaining life would be spent in helping and caring others. While lessening others’ burdens of grief she would lighten her own grief. She was sure that her husband would rest in peace. 

-      N.Ganeshan

FINDING BALANCE BETWEEN WORK AND PERSONAL LIFE

Nowadays almost all of us find it more challenging than ever to meet successfully the demands of our job or business and the rest of our life. For many of us the boundary between our work life and personal life is not really clear mainly because of technology and 24/7 connectivity. Even when we are eating dinner with our family or going to bed, we still sneak a peek at our emails on our smart phone. Many of us are addicted to our devices and in the habit of checking emails and being on call 24/7.

Today’s competition has turned us into workaholics. Many people seriously believe that achieving a true balance between work and personal life is impossible if we want success in our career or business. There is nothing wrong with wanting to work hard. We've all heard the popular advice that if you want to be successful, you have to work hard. All of us want to give our families a good home and a comfortable life. But while taking care of their financial needs, we neglect their emotional needs,

We cannot deny that work isn’t separate from life — it’s a part of it. For some people, it’s not a fun part of life, but for others, it’s a passion. Either way, it’s a part of our lives, good or bad. But no matter how hard we work, it's important to find a healthy balance between our work life and personal life. Achieving true work-life balance is not easy. Actually it is a challenge for everyone. But, for the sake of our peace and well-being, it's something we really need to make happen. Here are some useful tips that can help us to find the balance: 

1) Work Smart:

Many people work mechanically without properly applying their intelligence. Being successful in today's demanding and fast paced work environment has led many to believe spending long hours at work is the main contributor to increased productivity. But this is a false assumption. Being at work doesn't necessarily mean that work is actually getting done. The trick is learning how to work smarter.

Stephen Covey tells a story about a woodcutter whose saw gets blunter and blunter as time passes and he continues cutting down trees. If the woodcutter were to stop sawing, sharpen his saw, and go back to cutting the tree with a sharp blade, he would actually save time and effort in the long run. It is very useful to remember the analogy.


2) Learn To Delegate

Effectively delegating tasks we don't have to do ourselves can go a long way in helping us to achieve a better work/life balance.

3) Eliminate Time Wasters:

We may be able to find more time for our family if we make a conscious effort to limit the time we spend on the Television, web and social media sites, making long personal calls, or chit-chatting. We often get sucked into these habits that are making us much less efficient without realizing it. Take stock of activities that don't enhance your career or personal life, and minimize the time you spend on them.


4) Schedule time blocks in work:

Scheduling time throughout a week for all the things that are important to us will ensure that we get everything in and that work doesn’t overwhelm the schedule. But it is better not to over-schedule, filling up every free minute, because no schedule is kept to the minute. Better to have space between our time blocks than to have to skip something because the previous block ran too long.


5) Make dates with family and friends:

Instead of just saying, “I want to spend more time with my family and friends”, it is better actually making dates with them. That might mean romantic dates with your spouse or significant other, or non-romantic dates with your friends or kids or other family members. Plan to be with them on a regular basis to do something together. It doesn’t even have to cost a lot of money — it could be something simple like taking a walk in the park or playing games with them or cooking dinner for each other or watching a good movie with them. We do this because if there's nothing on the schedule, time tends to get frittered away and the weekend may end without us spending quality time together


6) Make dates with yourself:

Often we make time for our family or other loved ones, but we neglect ourselves. Schedule time for yourself, doing something you love doing by yourself like reading, playing. And set aside a separate time for exercising or meditation or yoga. Just make the time and don’t miss that date! Research has shown that making a little time and space for you is really important for your own happiness and will have a ripple effect to those around you. And it doesn't need to be much. For example just 10 minutes of mindfulness practice a day or 20 minutes of exercise can make a huge difference in your energy levels, your emotional state and your coping ability. Or fitting in some time for a hobby or leisure activity that you enjoy or find meaningful - even it is just an hour a week.

Even during a hectic day, you can take 10 or 15 minutes to do something that will recharge your batteries. "Take a bath, read a trashy novel, go for a walk, or listen to music," a researcher says. "You have to make a little time for the things that ignite your joy." And it will surely help to boost your energy level and ability to concentrate.


7) Examine your life regularly:

Often our lives become derailed from the track we set it on, and as a result we don’t realize where our lives are going until we really examine them. Or we can get so caught up in a routine that we don’t realize we can change it. Regular self reflection will help us to change. So set a separate time for self reflection and think about how your life is going, how you’re spending your time, and decide whether you need to make changes. Then schedule time to make those changes immediately — or make the changes right away if possible.


8) Love your work or find a work that you love:

Discover and decide what you love and you could make a living doing. Be imaginative. Every possible passion or hobby can be turned into a business or a job or a new career in one way or another. Explore the possibilities and find what suits your talents and capacities. Or see the positive aspects of your work and start loving it.


9) Take Rest

On the seventh day, even God rested. For workaholics, the day of rest never comes. There is always one more email to read, one more phone call to take, one more critically important trip to the office that can't wait until Monday. Most of the workaholics will be compelled to take rest in the hospitals. Some of them may never return to work. May we have wisdom not to join their list!


- N.GANESHAN
(Published in our bank’s 150th edition of house magazine “Vijaya Vikas)

Nothing Works!

Balan lost his job again recently and was totally at a loss as to how to spend the endless time hanging on him. His wife could never get him to do anything around the house also. He would sleep till noon and then sit in front of the T.V, read newspaper, eat, and sit day dreaming. This frustrated his wife a lot and she always nagged him. Finally she cut off the cable connection and threw water on him if he slept after 6 o’clock in the morning.

So he was getting bored – utterly bored. As he couldn’t sleep or watch T.V, the only task he was performing was, reading newspaper from first to last page and a few magazines from cover to cover. Earlier he would have a grazing glance at the headlines and then rush to office. Now he had time to go through all the pages and read the peppy and juicy stuff also.  But he was unable to read that also peacefully because of his wife’s constant nagging.

He was not against jobs. But he hated office politics and mean minded bosses. He hated long hours of work and getting poor salary. In work places there are hidden meanings for all colourful words.  If management welcomes you with "Join our fast-paced team” it really means “We have no time to train you”.  If management says “Your work is deadline oriented”, be sure that it means “You'll be three months behind schedule on your first day”. If they say “Duties will vary” it surely means “Anyone in the office can boss you around”. Even if they say “All the Best” it really means “You are in trouble”. These are his lessons from previous jobs.

Even though he learned so many lessons from past experiences he was called ‘an idiot’ by previous bosses. The last boss said, “If brains were taxed, you'd get a refund”. He didn’t understand what that means because he was not familiar with income tax rules. So he ignored the comment. His motto was “Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, and Avoid Disappointment”. Though his motto was worldly-wise, his previous employers were not intelligent enough to appreciate it.

And almost all the bosses had double standards - one for the worker and another for themselves. ‘When you take a long time, you’re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he’s only human. When you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed. When your boss does it, he’s being firm’. He disliked working for such bosses. To his misfortune he didn’t find a different boss.

And going to jobs was not really easy for him. He worried about riding through the jam packed traffic. He worried about getting into the already overloaded city buses. He worried about subjecting himself to pickpockets. He worried about getting late to office. His wife refused to understand his hardships and ordered him to find a job immediately. Unable to endure boredom and his wife’s constant nagging finally he decided to find a job.

Balan had a strong faith in starting things or making new attempts only on auspicious days and at auspicious hours. Though many people made sarcastic remarks about his strong belief, he didn’t care. “Does anyone get married on any inauspicious day or at Raaghu Kaalam?” So he wanted to start his new venture also on an auspicious day only. He took out panchangam and jotted down the auspicious days during the week and timings available, so that he could contact his would-be employers at the lucky times.

On the first auspicious day he attended a walk-in interview. In the interview he was asked, “"Why did you leave your last job?"

"It was something my boss said."

"What did he say?"

"’you’re fired!’" he said truthfully. They didn’t appreciate his answer. He was not selected for the job.

He waited for next auspicious day, so that at least his second attempt would be successful. Very soon the day dawned. Invoking the blessings from all Gods and Goddesses, he applied for a job and luckily got it. Even the zodiac fortune for the day clearly stated “a great deal awaits you. But don’t make an impulsive move”.

He was given the job of assistant to the boss. They didn’t inform him the duties of an assistant properly. So he sat idly for the most of the time day dreaming. The boss was very exasperated with his new assistant as the assistant didn’t even pick up the telephone when it rang. "You must answer the telephone," he told Balan irritably. Balan explained patiently "I answered many times. But nine times out of ten, it's for you!" The boss exploded with rage.

Next day the boss had an exasperating phone conversation with one of his teenage sons. After hanging up, he heaved a sigh and said, "No one ever listens to me." Balan overheard the conversation and dutifully replied with understanding, “yes I do." The boss found it too much to bear and fired him from the job.

For the third job Balan tried ‘Numerology’ and selected a lucky day. The day was really lucky as Balan was selected. The new boss seemed to understand what Balan was made of and decided to give him simple works. First he told Balan to take a Xerox copy of a very important document.  Balan searched for the Xerox machine and finally stood before the paper shredder looking confused.

"Need some help?" a friendly employee asked.

"Yes," he replied. "How does this thing work?"

"Simple," he said, taking the fat document from Balan’s hand and feeding it into the shredder.

"Thanks, but where do the copies come out?" Balan asked.

This time two persons lost their jobs.

Balan lost faith in panchangam, numerology and….. humanity!

-      N.Ganeshan

(Published in our bank’s house magazine ‘Vijaya Vikas’)

Always Thinking Of You!

You were my comfort, when I was lonely

You were my strength, when I felt lowly

You were my peace, when I needed rest

You were the only one thinking of my best.

When I was with you, eternity was a step away

To my every problem you showed me a way

You were a source of joy I never felt before

As years rolling by I loved you more and more.

Sad was the parting, no one could tell,

So sudden it happened, my heart fell;

The blow was hard, the shock very severe,

To part with the one, I loved ever dear.

I wanted to give you all I could give

I wanted you with me as long as I live.

Ever I wanted to be part of your heart,

To remain together, never be apart.

I wished that I could trade places with you

For all the pain that you went through.

But when I saw you sleeping free from pain

I could not wish you back to suffer again.

Feeling sad and blue I said goodbye to you

You didn’t go alone; a part of me went with you

In tears I watched you slowly fade away,

With great sorrow I couldn’t keep you stay.

Though absent, in my heart you are near,

Forever missed, loved and always dear.

Love, if ever I cease to think of you

It will be when God has called me too.

-      N.Ganeshan

(This poem got first prize in competition conducted in our bank magazine “Vijaya Vikas” in 2013)

.

Symptoms and cure of Inferiority Complex!

All of us have thoughts and feeling of inadequacy many times.  But inadequacy will become inferiority complex if we always have the following characteristics.

1)      Constant comparison with others

2)      High sensitivity to criticism

3)      Fault finding and making others small so that you can look bigger

4)      Hunger for flattery

5)      Social withdrawal

6)      Envy and Jealousy

7)      Self-pity

The root cause of inferiority complex is wrong perception, rather than what is actually the case. We draw conclusions based on our evaluation of past experiences. Mostly these evaluations are not facts, but our distorted perceptions.

Remember the simple truth – no one is perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. So let us not fall in the trap of comparison.  Let us love ourselves.  We are the creations of God.  God cannot create inferior products. So let us find out our plus points and go on improving ourselves. Then there will not be any room for inferiority complex.

- N.Ganeshan

The Most Powerful Transmission Tower

 

There is a very powerful transmission tower in this universe. That is our mind. We attract everything to our life with our mind. The universe is the supplier of everything. Everything comes from the Universe, and is delivered to us through people, circumstances, and events, by the law of attraction. Our mind thinks thoughts and they are broadcast back as our life experience. The universe merely corresponds to the nature of your inner-most thoughts and feelings. When we emit the perfect frequency of what we want, the perfect people, circumstances, and events will be attracted to us and delivered by the universe or infinite intelligence or God!

But sadly we think that certain people or fate or circumstances are giving us the things we desire. That false belief takes the real power from ourselves and gives it to outside events and people. Then we are at the mercy of outside world.

If we do not think about ourselves with love and respect, you are emitting a signal that is saying we are not important enough, worthy enough, or deserving. That signal will continue to be broadcast, and we will experience more situations of people not treating us well. The people are just the effect. Our thoughts are the real cause.  If we really love and respect ourselves we emit that signal to the universe and get on that frequency. Then the law of attraction will be activated and our life will be full of people who love and respect us.

Our thoughts should not focus on the things that we don't want — "I don't want to be poor, I don't want to be sick". Thought scientists say that the law of attraction doesn't hear that we don't want it. It manifests the things that we are thinking of and so it's going to show up over and over and over again. According to them the law of attraction is not biased to wants or don't wants. When we think and focus on something, no matter what it happens to be, we are really calling that into existence.

       

They say, "To become conscious of this power is to become a live wire connecting to the Universe.  It carries power sufficient to meet every situation in the life of every individual. When the individual mind touches the Universal Mind, it receives all its power."

So check your thoughts frequently. One wrong thought that went unchecked usually brings more such thoughts and stress manifested within us. The stress will bring people and situations in our life accordingly. Here effect is stress and chaos, but the cause was negative thinking that began with one little negative thought.

The remedy is in the positive thoughts. No matter what we might have manifested, we can change it with one strong positive thought and then more such thoughts. 

You may ask, “What to do if things go wrong in spite of our positive thoughts”. When things go wrong, do not expect the wrong to appear again. Look upon it as an exception. It happens to all including the most successful people. Call it past and forget it. Turn your mind to the positive side. Think positive and look for the best. By constantly thinking and expecting the best we can turn the tide to our favourable side.

We all have experienced those days or times when one thing after another goes wrong. The chain reaction began with one thought, whether we were aware of it or not. The one bad thought attracted more bad thoughts, the frequency locked in, and eventually something went wrong. Then as we reacted to that one thing going wrong, we attracted more things going wrong.  Negative reactions just attract more of the same, and the chain reaction must keep occurring until we move ourselves off that frequency by intentionally changing our thoughts.

So remember that we have the most powerful transmission tower. The source of all happiness and success is inside each individual. The beauty we see in nature and the beauty we feel in music are inside of us. The world is a whispering gallery which sends back the echo of our own voice. It is a mirror which reflects the face that looks in it. If we laugh, it laughs back; if we frown, it reflects a frown.  What we think, what we feel and what manifests in our life is always a exact match.

-      N.Ganeshan

Meaningful quotes of Eckhart Tolle

I loved reading Eckhart Tolle’s great books "The Power of Now" and "The New Earth". Though every line of his books seems to be a good quote, I think the following quotes are worth reading and remembering.

-    

    -   N.Ganeshan

“If small things have the power to disturb you, then who you think you are is exactly that: small.”
― Eckhart Tolle

“Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose”
― Eckhart Tolle

“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” 

― Eckhart Tolle

“What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.”
― Eckhart Tolle

“What you react to in others, you strengthen in yourself.”
― Eckhart Tolle

“Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don't be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence.”
― Eckhart Tolle, 

“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”
― Eckhart Tolle

“The foundation of greatness is honoring the small things of the present moment, instead of pursuing the idea of greatness.”
― Eckhart Tolle

“You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”
― Eckhart Tolle

 “When you don't cover up the world with words and labels, a sense of the miraculous returns to your life that was lost a long time ago when humanity, instead of using thought, became possessed by thought.”
― Eckhart Tolle

“In today's rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being.”
― Eckhart Tolle

“Instead of asking, “what do I want from life?,” a more powerful question is, “what does life want from me?”
― Eckhart Tolle