WHY WE ARE NOT LIVING OUR DREAMS?

The reason we aren't living our dreams is inside ourselves. We pretend it is people, things, and situations outside ourselves that are to blame.

Suppose I wanted to enjoy reading a good book!" but I decided to watch this movie on TV last night, and I was going to read the book afterward, but then I went out for ice cream, and I was tired, and decided to start fresh in the morning, but then I slept late, and then I went out for breakfast and took a drive past a shopping complex and decided to stop in, then I went for lunch, and then thought I'd take a nap and start fresh in the evening, but then I started watching a documentary on TV, then, of course, it was time for dinner, then I was invited to the movies, and I don't want to be rude to my friends, and besides I sort-of wanted to see the movie anyway, then I was going to go right back and read that book, but then I remembered how good the ice cream was the night before . . .

But.-that three-letter word permeates our language. It's a nasty little word. It allows us to lie to ourselves and to severely limit ourselves without even knowing it. Let's look at a typical sentence containing "but" in a simple situation.
I want to visit my sick grandmother, but it's raining outside."

"But" usually means: "Ignore all that good-sounding stuff that went before—here comes the truth." The truth is that grandma is not getting a visit. The lie is that I care so much about my sick grandmother that I really want to pay her a visit. (Note my sensitivity to her need for visitation, and my compassion for wanting to visit her.)

At this point, entering stage right, are two of but's dearest friends--if only and try. "If only it were a fine spring day, I'd be on my way to Grandmother's house. If only it weren't so raining, I'd be at Granny's side right now. I'm going to try to get there tomorrow. But tomorrow never comes.

What a tragedy it is to live with the will so weak that one cannot carry out that which one sincerely intends to do or live as one has conscientiously resolved to live.

In life, we have either reasons or results--excuses or experiences, stories or successes. We either have what we want, or we have ironclad, airtight, impenetrable reasons why it was not even marginally possible to get it.

But, alas, as John Kenneth Galbraith pointed out, "In the choice between changing one's mind and proving there's no need to do so, most people get busy on the proof." In the amount of time it takes for the mind to invent a good excuse, the mind could have created an alternate way of achieving the result--rendering excuse-making unnecessary.

This choice, of course, is not a single, monumental choice. No one decides, for example, “I am going to remain the laziest person in the world for the rest of my life”. No. The choices I'm talking about here are made daily, hourly, and moment by moment. Do we try something new, or stick to the tried-and-true? Do we take a risk, or eat what's already on our dish? Do we ponder a thrilling adventure, or contemplate what's on TV? Do we walk over and meet that interesting stranger, or do we play it safe? Do we indulge our heart, or cater to our fear?

The bottom-line question: Do we pursue what we want, or do we do what's comfortable? As Charles Kingsley rightly said, “We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.

For the most part, most people most often choose comfort--the familiar, the time-honored, the well-worn but well-known. After a lifetime of choosing between comfort and risk, we are left with the life we currently have. And it was all of our own choosing.

As Henry Miller said, “Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, and evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.

You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. You must want it with an inner exuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world.

Mere doing never leads to success, -for back of it there is no ideal of the process, no desire to improve it, no thought-out plan, and no ideal. In mines and stores and factories and offices, there are millions of good workers. They learn to do one thing -they learn to do it well -and then, forever afterwards, they merely do. They drudge, or toil, or labor but they do not work; and -they do not succeed. You yourself may do your work perfectly -merely doing it; you may be always at it; others may be able to depend upon you doing your work exactly, with no loss of time, not missing a stroke. But all these do not lead to attainment. Purposeful doing is one step in advance of mere doing. It is based upon an idea of progress and is stimulated by a deep desire coupled with iron will power.

Things that go upward have to be pushed. Going upward is overcoming.
And it is so with our own lives. Real living is conscious effort to go
upward to larger life. If you are making no effort in your life, if you are moving in the line of least resistance, depend upon it you are going downward. They are content to drift and be Majorities and they are not willing to make the effort to rule themselves. They follow false gods that promise something for nothing. Rather than dispose of the barriers to our dreams, the mind disposes of the dreams.

Decide what you are lacking that you need or want. Write it down as an achievement or goal to reach by the next month or three months or year! Make the goals reasonable yet challenging. Let your reach exceed your grasp, and work toward it daily in steps you can handle. Get the best tools you can. We use one of the most powerful tools at our disposal--the mind--for our disposal. And remember diplomas, degrees are not an education, they are merely preparations. When you are through with the books, remember, you are having a commencement, not an end. You will discover with the passing years that life is just one series of greater commencements.

You are the creator of the reality you experience. Every event that occurs around you takes on meaning when you put your attention on it. During your lifetime you have been exposed to a lot of conditioning, but you have selected what seemed valid to you and made it part of your programming. If reality is getting you down, examine the programming that is in the bio-computer you call your mind. That programming can be changed at any time because you are your own programmer.


-N.Ganeshan

THE PRACTICE OF SELF-ENQUIRY

The practice of self-inquiry (Atma-vichara in Sanskrit) is the most important meditation practice in the Vedantic tradition. It is the primary method through which Self-realization-the realization of our true nature beyond mind and body-is achieved. Sage Ribhu said in Ribhu Gita “Only by those strong willed persons who make earnest and persistent Self-enquiry will the turbulent mind be controlled and fixed still in the practice of firm bhavana. In due course all thoughts and nescience will disappear, yielding place to the effulgent Awareness-Self of mukti.” In Yoga Vashista sage Vashista said to Rama, “O Rama, this enquiry into the Self of the nature or 'Who Am I?' is the fire which burns up the seeds of the evil tree which is the mind”.

Self-enquiry finds prominent place in the teachings of Sri Ramana Maharishi. Ramana Maharishi says “Barring fruitful self-enquiry there is, for real mind control, no other spiritual practice whatsoever. The mind may seem to be controlled by other methods, but after a while it will spring up again. If without wasting time one starts and keeps up steady self-enquiry, one’s life becomes at once ennobled, and there wells up within one’s heart a sea of bliss supreme”.

The process of Self-enquiry can be explained in a few words. To practice it you need only trace the root of your thoughts back to the I-thought, from which all other thoughts arise. This is initiated by the question "Who am I?". By asking, "Who am I?" our thought current naturally gets focused on the search for the true Self and we forget about all other concerns and worries of the mind.

However, Self-enquiry does not consist of merely repeating the question "Who am I?" over and over again in our minds, which is only a tiring mental exercise. It means holding to the search for the true Self in all that one does. It requires that we have a real and fundamental doubt about who we are, through which we can reject all outer identifications. It is as if one had amnesia and didn't know who one was and had to give full attention to the matter before anything else could be done.

Self-enquiry is an enquiry that requires one's entire energy and attention. It requires a full and one-pointed concentration, not interrupted by the intrusion of other thoughts. The thought current naturally moves back to the Self to the extent that we do not preoccupy our minds with outside stimulation. The problem is that the senses present us with so many distractions that it is difficult to look within. Self-enquiry means to constantly question and reverse this process of extroversion by seeking out the origin of our awareness and energy in the heart.

The truth is that we don't know who we really are, because we never properly investigate our true nature. The sense of 'I', the feeling of being a particular person who inhabits a particular body, only persists because we continuously identify ourselves with thoughts, beliefs, emotions, objects, and so on. The 'I' never stands alone by itself; it always exists in association: 'I am Rama,' 'I am a lawyer,' 'I am a woman,' 'I am angry,' etc. These identifications are automatic and unconscious. They are just the unchallenged assumptions that lie behind all our experiences and habits

Sri Ramana Maharshi maintained that this tendency towards self-limiting identifications could be checked by trying to separate the subject ‘I’ from the objects of thought which it identified with. Since the individual ‘I’-thought cannot exist without an object, if attention is focused on the subjective feeling of ‘I’ or ‘I am’ with such intensity that the thoughts ‘I am this’ or ‘I am that’ do not arise, then the individual ‘I’ will be unable to connect with objects. If this awareness of ‘I’ is sustained, the individual ‘I’ (the ‘I’-thought) will disappear and in its place there will be a direct experience of the Self. This constant attention to the inner awareness of ‘I’ or ‘I am’ was called self-enquiry (vichara) by Sri Ramana Maharshi and he constantly recommended it as the most efficient and direct way of discovering the unreality of the ‘I’-thought.

So what we call our Self is but some thought, emotion or sensation that we are temporarily identified with and that is constantly changing. Our lives are shrouded in ignorance about our true nature, springing from the most basic feelings that we have, especially our bodily identity. We are not the body. Rather, the body is a vehicle in which our true Self is obscured. As long as we don't question this process of self-identification we must come to sorrow and remain in darkness and confusion.

The true Self is not only beyond human distinctions, it is beyond all divisions of time and space, name and form, birth and death. Self-inquiry leads us ultimately to the Absolute in which the phenomenal world becomes little more than a mirage of the mind and senses. It goes far beyond the discovery of some greater self, or any human or creative potential, to what is beyond all limitations. In the process we expand our sense of self to include the entire universe.


-N.Ganeshan

The True Wealth

If someone says that you are one of the wealthiest persons in this world will you agree? If the answer is "No" please read this and rethink your answer. I came across the passage in the net and it made me think a lot. Read and think.

N.Ganeshan

The True Wealth

Imagine you lost a limb. How much money are you willing to pay to get it back?

Now, imagine you lost your sight, or your sense of hearing. How much money are you willing to pay to have it back?

Imagine you developed a terminal disease. How much money are you willing to give up for it to go away?

Think of a living person whom you love very much. This person could be a family member, a romantic partner, or just a friend. Imagine this person left you. Again, how much money are you willing to part with for him or her to return?

Imagine someone came along with a special machine, zapped your brain, and suddenly, ALL your memories - good, bad and neutral - are gone. Again, whats the amount of money you would forfeit to get your memories back?

Think of anything else which means a lot to you. Imagine it went away. And then ask yourself how much money you would part with to have it back.

Now, if you still have some or all of the above things in your life, aren't you a very wealthy person?

"True wealth is measured by what you have, not what you don't have or what you have lost."

"There’s none so poor as he who knows not the joy of what he has."

- Unknown

The Son

(Short story)


“What does the doctor say?” my wife asked.

I couldn’t answer her. My heart was heavy with boundless sorrow.

But my twelve years old son Arun said calmly, “Doctor says I probably have six months to live”. Saying this he went away unable to see our tears. That night we wept endlessly….

Our world shattered into bits. Arun was our only son. He was very bright, loving and intelligent. He was everything any parents could pray for. We were the happiest family in the world. Then our son became sick. He had Leukemia. It was in his bloodstream and eventually it went into his bone marrow. The disease was in the last stage.

Next morning he came to me. “Dad, can you do me a favour?”

“Anything son…. Anything on this earth” I couldn’t hold back my tears.

“I want you and mom stop crying and let my remaining time here a happy one” His eyes, glued to mine, were pleading.

Hearing the words we cried more for sometime. But finally his message made sense to us. Even though it would be the hardest task for us we determined to do that. Wiping her tears my wife asked, “Tell my child, what will make you happy?”

“Be with me. Let us talk. Let us play cards. Let us go to some beautiful place…..”

We did as he requested. We stayed with him till he was exhausted with sleep. We talked to him like we never talked previously. He told about his school friends, teachers, what he thought about the world…. No one could describe the love that we shared that night. We became one, united in the true meaning of love.

Days passed with great speed. We played cards, carom board and watched TV together….

One day he looked at his precious playthings thoughtfully. “Dad, why do people go on accumulating things, money, properties when they very well know that they can’t take them to the other world?”

I had no answer. Death can be a great tutor, but not to all.

We went to Ooty and stayed there a few days. The days were really memorable forever to remain printed in our hearts. We treasured each living moment with our son.

In Ooty a beggar boy of about six years old came to us asked for money. The boy looked very innocent. Arun looked at him kindly. We asked the boy about his parents. He said that he lost them in a recent road accident and he had no one else to look after him.

“Dad you are going to lose me. This boy already lost his parents. Why can’t you take him and give him a better life…”

We didn’t know what to say. But our son insisted. We couldn’t say no to him. When we returned from Ooty, Anand, the beggar boy, came with us.

We sent the boy to a local school. Arun treated him like a brother. The boy began to call him brother and us Dad and Mom. He became a part of our family. The boy quickly developed a special loving bond with our son. They played together and talked a lot.

One day when they were alone Arun asked Anand, “Will you look after our parents nicely in their old age?”

Tearfully Anand answered, “I promise brother….” We overheard them and wept uncontrollably.

The dreaded disease eventually wore him down. He grew quite ill. Sometimes there was a faraway look in his eyes. One night after the thoughtful silence Arun said to me, “After my death please donate my organs, Dad”. Holding back my tears I nodded. Next morning he died. Anand wept more than us.

Many people received his body tissues. Two people who could not see before began to see thanks to his eyes. His vital organs like heart, liver, kidneys were now functioning in other people’s bodies and made a huge difference in their lives.

One of the hardest lessons to learn from death is that life must go on. Though our grief was great we tried to focus on the rainbows instead of the rain. Because that was the greatest lesson we learnt from our son.

- N.Ganeshan

WISHING

If we wish to see a beautiful world we need not wait for a mahatma for the task. Everyone of us have the seeds of power to change the world as we like. We can sow the powerful seeds and see magnificent results. Ella Wheeler Wilcox explains the process of changing the world beautifully. Read the poem to get the inspiration and do something everyday to create a better world.

N.Ganeshan


WISHING

Do you wish the world were better?
Let me tell you what to do:
Set a watch upon your actions,
Keep them always straight and true;
Rid your mind of selfish motives;
Let your thoughts be clean and high.
You can make a little Eden
Of the sphere you occupy.

Do you wish the world were wiser?
Well, suppose you make a start,
By accumulating wisdom
In the scrapbook of your heart:
Do not waste one page on folly;
Live to learn, and learn to live.
If you want to give men knowledge
You must get it, ere you give.

Do you wish the world were happy?
Then remember day by day
Just to scatter seeds of kindness
As you pass along the way;
For the pleasures of the many
May be ofttimes traced to one,
As the hand that plants an acorn
Shelters armies from the sun.

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

The Optimist and The Pessimist

Christian D Larson defines optimist and pessimist excellently. After reading the definitions one can clearly understand why the optimist succeeds in life and why the pessimist fails in his life. You need not consult astrologers about your future. See where you fit in the descriptions. You can know the status of your future instantly. If you don't like the possible outcome, you have the choice to alter yourself accordingly. Read and know yourself.

N.Ganeshan


The Optimist and The Pessimist

The optimist lives under a clear sky; the pessimist lives in a fog.

The pessimist hesitates, and loses both time and opportunity; the optimist makes the best use of everything now, and builds themselves up, steadily and surely, until all adversity is overcome and the object in view realized.

The pessimist curbs their energies and concentrates their whole attention upon failure; the optimist gives all their thought and power to the attainment of success, and arouses their faculties and forces to the highest point of efficiency.

The pessimist waits for better times, and expects to keep on waiting; the optimist goes to work with the best that is at hand now, and proceeds to create better times.

The pessimist pours cold water on the fires of their own ability; the optimist adds fuel to those fires.

The pessimist links their mind to everything that is losing ground; the optimist lives, thinks and works with everything that is determined to press on.

The pessimist places a damper on everything; the optimist gives life, fire and go to everything.

The optimist is a building force; the pessimist is always an obstacle in the way of progress.

The pessimist lives in a dark, soggy unproductive world, the optimist lives in that mental sunshine that makes all things grow.

- Christian D Larson

Seeing Red !

A king once challenged a zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell. But the monk replied with scorn. "You're nothing but a fool. I can't waste my time with the likes of you".

The king flew into a rage and pulling his sword, yelled, "I could kill you for your words".

"That is hell" the monk replied calmly.

Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in its grip, the king calmed down, sheathed his sword and bowed, thanking the monk for the insight.

"And that is heaven" said the monk.

Anger is a temporary madness which leads one to permanent hell. If someone insults you and you feel angry, always remember that you have become a slave. That man is your master; he insulted you and he manipulated your anger. Many people think thatventing anger gets rid of it. But actually expressing your anger does not reduce it and may, in fact build it again.

Anger is often inflamed by the thoughts we think when we are provoked. (Who does he think he is to treat me like that?). The longer we think about what has made us angry, the more 'good reasons' and self justifications for being angry. Because brooding fuels anger's flames.

Seeing things differently douses these flames. We must think differently to find justification for the behaviour (Eg: May be he's having a tough day). That line of thought short-circuits the build up of rage. Redford Williams, a psychiatrist at Duke University recommends use of self awareness to catch cynical or hostile thoughts as they arise and write them down. Once angry thoughts are captured this way, they can be challenged and reappraised, though this approach works better before anger has escalated to rage.

Sometimes the best thing you can do about anger is nothing. Going for a long walk, deep breathing and active exercise change the body's physiology from high arousal of anger to a low-arousal state and also these activities distract from whatever triggered the anger.

Don't be in a hurry to act when angry. Take time to think and find ways to cool down. As Aristotle said "Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not easy".

-
N. GANESHAN

(Published in Hindu 7-9-2001)