Ways of wasting time and rectifying them!

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Ways of wasting Time and rectifying them! from N Ganeshan

What is there to worry?

Whenever you are burdened with a lot of worries, remember and understand these truths. Your worries will be diminished automatically

N.Ganeshan

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What is there to worry? from N Ganeshan

How to achieve your dream goal without fail?

13 Truths to keep in mind while following our dreams. If you understand the truths and act accordingly you will surely achieve your dream however big it may be.

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How to achieve your dream goal without fail from N Ganeshan

12 Characteristics that block success in life

In this power-point presentation you can find 12 characteristics that block the path to success. As long as you don't change the mindset or the characteristics your chances of reaching success are very remote. Change them and change your fate.

- N.Ganeshan

12 characteristics that block success in life from N Ganeshan

Don’t Spread Gossip Virus

  

People gossip for many reasons - to feel superior, out of boredom, out of envy, to feel like part of the group they are with and to grab attention.

Unfortunately, gossip feels good and the short-term rewards often distract us from the fact that we know better. It makes us feel better about ourselves to know something about someone else and share that with another. Other times, speaking about the personal faults of others makes it easier to overlook our own.

There is an old story of a person who repeated a rumour about a neighbour. Soon, the whole community had heard the rumour. Later, the person who spread the gossip learned that the rumour was untrue. He was very sorry and went to a sage asking for remedial measure. The sage told him, “Go to your home and take a feather pillow outside. Rip it open and scatter the feathers, then return to me tomorrow.” The man did as the elder had instructed.

The following day, he visited the sage. The sage said, “Go collect the feathers you scattered yesterday and bring them back to me.” The man went home and searched for the feathers, but the wind had carried them all away. Returning to the sage, he admitted, “I could find none of the feathers I scattered yesterday.” “You see,” said the sage, “it‘s easy to scatter the feathers but impossible to get them back.” So it is with gossip; it doesn’t take much to spread hurtful information, but once you do, you can never completely undo the damage.

The most dangerous part about gossip is that it steals another person’s reputation. A reputation is very fragile. When you gossip, you are helping to destroy something extremely valuable.

Don Miguel Ruiz says, “Using the analogy of the human mind as a computer, gossip can be compared to a computer virus. A computer virus is a piece of computer language written in the same language all the other codes are written in, but with a harmful intent. This code is inserted into the program of your computer when you least expect it and most of the time without your awareness.

One little piece of misinformation can break down communication between people; causing every person it touches to become infected and contagious to others. Imagine that every single time others gossip to you, they insert a computer virus into your mind, causing you to think a little less clearly every time. Then imagine that in an effort to clean up your own confusion and get some relief from the poison, you gossip and spread these viruses to someone else.

Now imagine this pattern going on in a never-ending chain between all the humans on earth. The result is a world full of humans who can only read information through circuits that are clogged with a poisonous, contagious virus.”

So it’s time for us to decide we don’t want to have any part of gossip. Here are some tips on how to implement your decision.

* Make a commitment you’re not going to gossip even if the temptation to gossip is powerful.

* Don’t listen to others when they gossip. If someone starts to tell some gossip, say, “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about these persons when they’re not here to defend themselves”. Not only will you break the gossip chain, but you also will gain the trust of other people, as someone who won’t spread rumours. 

* Don’t judge people based on gossip. Always let your own personal experience determine what you think.

Stay away from people who gossip or stop it before it starts.

N.Ganeshan

THE PHILOSOPHER HUSBAND

(Humourous Article) 

Shiva became a wise philosopher after his marriage. Now He understands so many things about marriage, wife, kids and life. He understands that marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband. He understands that the husband is the head of the family and wife is the neck of the family.  Because the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way it wants. 

He understands inner meaning of some words his wife uses. “Fine” is the word she uses to end an argument when she feels that she is right and he needs to shut up. “Five Minutes” means one hour when she is getting dressed.  “Nothing” is the calm before the storm. It means something dangerous and he should be on his toes. When she says, “Do what you want” it means “You'll pay for this later” When she asks, “Do you love me?” it means, “I'm going to ask for something expensive” 

Actually he had retained his freedom of speech till the end of first year of his marriage. In the first year she was very submissive. So when she asked one day, "What's on the TV?”, he could say the truth "Dust!". When she pointed out one day, “Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don't you do that?” he wondered, “How can I? I don't even know her”. 

One day she was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told him, “I just dreamed that you gave me a gold necklace for my birth day. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know today evening.” he said. 

That evening, he came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it–only to find a book entitled “The meaning of dreams”. 

After they brought their first baby home she suggested that he should try his hand at changing the baby’s diapers.  

"I’m busy," Shiva said, "I’ll do the next one." 

The next time soon came around and she asked again. 

Shiva looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!” She burst out finally and didn’t speak for days. And she made him to change diapers whenever he is in home.

At the time of their silent treatment he needed the assistance of his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business trip. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence and lose his self-respect, he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, Shiva woke up, only to discover it was 8:00 AM and he had missed his train. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM, Wake up."

Next week they drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word with each other. As they passed a few donkeys he asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” 

“Yes,” she replied, “In-laws.” 

After that incident she became bolder. She told her sister when he was reading newspaper nearby, "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"

Another day he overheard her saying to her close friend,” He doesn’t like my cooking. He doesn’t like my cleaning. He doesn’t like my washing. He says that I am not doing that all like his mother.  I can do only one thing like his mother, I think. I can slap him hard like his mother used to do in his childhood”   

That decided the rest of his married life. Finally he understood that he was no match to her. He became the most obedient husband in this world. 

When she was not around him he would say to any listening ears, “Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence… … Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings" - engagement ring, wedding ring, suffe-ring and endu-ring… Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished…”

“If you love something, set it free.  If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.  If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.  If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you married it”

When someone asked him “Which is better-Love marriage or arranged marriage?” he replied, “It’s like asking if suicide is better or being murdered.”

But when she was with him, his part of the entire conversation with her would be very simple -“Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry".

-N.Ganeshan

(Got prize for this humorous article in Vijaya Vikas)

THE MESSAGE

Lalitha awoke in the dark. She knew without looking at the clock that dawn was still hours away. Turning, tossing, oppressed by sorrows, she watched the vehicles’ lights flicker on the ceiling. Finally she got up and went to the window. There was silence everywhere. That stillness was not possible in the day light. As she watched, the far off stars seemed to pulse and quiver. Her husband Shankar was very fond of watching stars at nights. Her husband’s memory made her heart heavy with aching loneliness…. 

She always considered herself a strong and independent woman. But she didn’t know the pain of loneliness until her husband died of cancer. 

She missed her husband Shankar very much. She missed his smile, his jokes, and his loving support. They loved each other, they liked each other, and they respected each other. They finished each other's sentences and shared the daily crossword puzzle and word jumble. He was the most understanding person she had ever seen. He helped her even in house chores like washing, cleaning and cooking. Their sons made fun of him. He said patiently “You see, in marriage, there is no scorecard. You do little things for each other to make the other's life easier. If you think of it as helping the person you love, you don't become annoyed with doing the washing or cooking, or any task, because you're doing it out of love.” 

Though he died three weeks ago, still she felt his presence everywhere in that old house. She remembered the wonderful times together and how she had always felt protected and cherished by the loving man. She felt grief for the loss she was to endure, the words of love that had comforted her earlier. The old house was flooded with his memories. When her sons requested her to go with them to their houses in far away cities, she refused to leave the house because of that reason. Finally her sons and their families left her alone… 

Last week she wrote in her diary, “Living in an empty house is not easy. There is no one to greet you, and the chair opposite yours at the dinner table is empty. The house seems to echo from the silence and you shed a tear as you remember that you are now alone. So many years together, so many memories you two created together are all you have left. Losing a loved one changes your entire life, especially when the loved one was also your best friend….” 

She watched the stars gradually wink out. The moon paled. A strip of light began to blossom on the eastern horizon. Except for a single bird, repeating one note over and over, the whole world is as still as a pond on a windless day. Suddenly sun rays began to cut through the morning shadows. Pink and orange clouds drifted across the pale blue sky. Her sixtieth birthday arrived. The day seemed to start to fuel the grief over one who would not be here to share it… 

Shankar was always the first person to wish her happy birthday with bouquet of roses. She loved roses. So he always wished her with beautiful roses. "To my love," he would say, presenting her a extravagant bouquet. She missed his love, his flowers and his wishes in this birthday. For a moment she let the aching memory fill her. 

Suddenly she saw a florist's van turned onto her Street. She followed it with her eyes. It was moving slowly. Then the driver parked the van in front of her house. Who would be sending her flowers? She wondered. Her Sons? No, her sons never remembered her birthday. And she had no living friend or relatives who cared that much for her. 

Carrying a bouquet of beautiful roses a neatly dressed young man came out of the van. He checked her door number and climbed her door steps and knocked her door. Her hands trembled as she straightened her hair. She thought, “There’s something wrong. He must have come to the wrong address”. 

"Yes?" she said, after opening the door. 

"Good Morning ma'am," the man said pleasantly. "This flower delivery is for Mrs.Lalitha” 

“I’m Lalitha” 

He politely handed over the bouquet of roses and left. 

The rich smell of roses engulfed her. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths. She opened her eyes and saw the beautiful roses unbelievingly. Then she noticed a small white envelope attached with the bouquet. On the envelope she read the words “To my Love” her husband’s handwriting. Her heart was pounding as she picked the envelope. She couldn’t believe her eyes. 

With trembling hands, she opened the envelope. There was a letter inside with her husband’s neat handwriting. She read his letter- 

Dearest, 

I know you are still living in our home alone and grieving. In life nothing is forever. In my absence, your life is changed and changing. Accepting the reality, please move forward, my love, and come out of grief. 

Going forward and healing from grief doesn't mean forgetting about the person you lost. Getting back to enjoying your life doesn't mean you no longer miss your loved one. And how long it takes until you start to feel better isn't a measure of how much you loved the person. 

In truth, I didn’t leave you all alone. Whenever you think of me, I’ll be always with you in spirit. If you are not happy I will not be happy even in heaven. Like old days, find happiness in small acts of kindness and help to others. The day will become brighter and your life will go on — even if it'll never be quite the same. I’ll be observing you in spirit. So, be happy my dear and let me rest in peace. 

I wish you a very happy birthday! 

With Love 

Shankar” 

Finally she understood. Before his death her husband had arranged with the florist to deliver the roses and his message on her birthday. Her face streamed with tears. His love and concern moved her deeply. 

She read the letter again and again. She understood what he was trying to say. For the last three weeks she was living in her own sorrow losing contact with the outer world… 

She looked out of window. Outside it was very cold. She saw people bundled up in warm coats going about their busy lives. Opposite to her house a beggar woman was sitting on the roadside dressed in a torn old sari. Beside her were a few plastic bags of belongings. She looked down when anyone came near her, and shyly looked up to glance when they went by. She had nothing to protect her against the cold. 

Lalitha took a new blanket from her wardrobe and Rs.100/- from her purse and walked up to her and gave her. The beggar looked at her with surprise. Slowly tears welled up in her eyes and she said faintly, “Thank you amma”. 

Her husband used to do such little acts of kindness voluntarily to others. Seeing the beggar’s happiness, Lalitha felt a great satisfaction. She felt as if her husband was watching her from above. She looked at the blue sky and smiled with tears. She came back to her house and life. She decided that hereafter her remaining life would be spent in helping and caring others. While lessening others’ burdens of grief she would lighten her own grief. She was sure that her husband would rest in peace. 

-      N.Ganeshan