Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Most of us have goals in our life. But most of them are vague and confusing. So they are not easily reachable. We struggle year after year. But the progress is not equivalent to our struggles. Very often the reason lies in the way of our setting the goals. How to set goals perfectly? - Dr. Philip E. Humbert explains very clearly in this article. Read and set your goals. Surely you will reach your goals....
The Top 10 Steps to Set and Achieve Your Goals - Every Time!
It’s been said that everyone has goals, whether we know it or not. We have goals to keep our current job, or to get a different one. We have goals to save for the future, or to travel, take a vacation, or purchase the things we need and want to make our lives more enjoyable. An important distinction, however, is that top achievers are very intentional and focused on their goals, while many of the rest of us are not.
Top achievers know that the wording, structure, timing and format of a goal can make it’s achievement much easier – or far more difficult. Top achievers understand the basic skills for setting and reaching their goals, every time! They know how to design goals that create success. Here are the 10 most important steps to set and achieve your goals:
1. Reachable goals are SPECIFIC. Top achievers know that to reach their goals, the brain must know exactly, precisely, what they are trying to accomplish. Never word a goal with vague terms like “some” or “a little bit”, or “more”. Be specific! If you want to lose 8 pounds and reach a weight of 175, specify those exact numbers. If you want to save $200 this month, be exact. Your brain can help you accomplish almost anything if it knows precisely what you are aiming for.
2. Reachable goals are SIMPLE. Many people describe their goals in complex terms of retiring on the beach in Hawaii, with nice cars and lots of money, and…. Their list goes on and on. Any ONE of those things is a great goal, but the combination becomes over whelming and the brain gets confused. If you want to retire in Hawaii, just say so! If you want to increase your sales by 10% this month, say so! Keep your goals simple, clear, and focused.
3. Reachable goals are SIGNIFICANT. No one can muster the enthusiasm, hard work and courage to reach a goal they don’t really care about. A reachable goal is one you really, really, REALLY want! It’s something that will change your life, enhance your health or wealth, and make you proud. It gets your juices flowing, gets you up in the morning, and keeps you going all day long, because it is important! Set goals that are worth achieving!
4. Reachable goals are STRATEGIC. High achievers know that the best goals accomplish many great outcomes, all at one time. Running a 10K race will almost certainly: 1) feel great! 2) help you lose weight. 3) lower your cholesterol level 4) strengthen your heart 5) lower you risk of heart disease 6) increase your energy and stamina, and 7) improve your outlook. Design your goals to strategically impact as many areas of your life as possible. You’ll have more reasons to reach your goal and more excitement when you do!
5. Reachable goals are MEASURABLE. A goal without a measurable outcome is just a pipe-dream. You can’t achieve a pound of “happiness” or 6 inches of “self-esteem”, but you CAN get a new job. You CAN run a mile in under 7 minutes, or do 100 sit-ups. Someone has wisely observed that, “What gets measured, gets done.” Define your goals in terms of height, weight, dollars, inches, or hours. Then measure your progress until you achieve your desired outcome.
6. Reachable goals are RATIONAL. To reach your goal, you will need a plan, a path, and a vehicle for getting there. Your goals must make sense! When you explain them to friends and family, your goals should create excitement, draw support, and encouragement. Your goals should be just out of reach, but not out of sight! You want to stretch to be your best, not strain after impossible dreams. Set goals you CAN and WILL achieve!
7. Reachable goals are TANGIBLE. Choose goals that you can see, hear, smell or touch. Go for things you will enjoy and that you can clearly visualize. The brain has hard time going for “financial security”, but it can visualize a bank statement with nice, large numbers on it! Define your goals in terms that excite the senses, then go for it with all your heart!
8. Reachable goals are WRITTEN. High achievers always know precisely what they want, because they’ve written it down. Often, they write a short description of their goals every single morning, as a personal reminder of their priorities and their objectives. The act of writing your goals down vastly increases your chance of success. Write it down! Then, keep your notes where you can see and read them every day.
9. Reachable goals are SHARED. We are far more likely to stick to our plan and reach our goals if we know our friends and family support us. Being part of a team increases our determination, our stamina, and our courage. Caution: Never share your goals with anyone who may ridicule, tease or discourage you! The world is full of doubters and you have no time for them. But, find a support team, a group of cheerleaders, and a coach who will encourage you every step of the way. High achievers count on and work with other winners!
10. Reachable goals are CONSISTENT WITH YOUR VALUES. One of the biggest reasons people fail to achieve their goals is that they have conflict between their behavior and their values. However, when your values and your goals are in agreement, there is no stopping you! Clarify your values first, then set simple, specific, measurable, tangible, written goals that are consistent with those values. You will achieve them, every single time!
- Dr. Philip E. Humbert
Thursday, October 14, 2010
We all want to feel loved. We think about it, hope for it, fantasize about it, go to great lengths to achieve it, and feel that our lives are incomplete without it. The lack genuine love is the cause of most of our anger and frustration. It is no exaggeration to say that our emotional need for love is just as great as our physical need for air and food.
Most of us have been taught since childhood to do without Real Love and to settle instead for giving and receiving conditional love. Our misconceptions of unconditional love began in early childhood, where we saw that when we did all the right things—when we were quiet, obedient and good—people loved us. They smiled at us and spoke in gentle tones. But we also saw that when we were “bad,” all those signs of “love” instantly vanished. In short, we were taught by consistent experience that love was conditional, that we had to buy “love” from the people around us with our words and behavior. But, what is real love?
Real Love is "I care how you feel." Conditional love is "I like how you make me feel." Conditional love is what people give to us when we do what they want, and it's the only kind of love that most of us have ever known. People have liked us more when we made them feel good, or at least when we did nothing to inconvenience them. In other words, we have to buy conditional love from the people around us.
It's critical that we be able to distinguish between Real Love and conditional love. When we can't do that, we tend to settle for giving and receiving conditional love, which leaves us empty, unhappy, and frustrated.
Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. Real love means love without condition. It means giving love without expecting anything in return, including any reciprocal love. It’s also Real Love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. It is not Real Love when other people like us for doing what they want. It is not about desire and possession; it is about appreciation and concern.
So there is a world of difference between conditional and unconditional love. So much so, that one cannot be sure that conditional love can be love at all. "If you loved me, then you would..." isn't love, but rather manipulation. If someone asks us to do or say something that isn't in our nature, that isn't true love. The one, who puts conditions upon their love, holds a manipulative power rather than a sacrificial love that costs them something. The one who invest all in a relationship, holding nothing back, and loving unconditionally will experience a love greater than the one who maintains conditions. Regardless of whether the love is unrequited or requited, the unconditional lover knows real love because they give all.
In contrast, a conditional love, if it could be called love at all, would be one without trust and perseverance. One that is easily withdrawn when anger ensues and where wrongs are recorded. It is not one that rejoices in truth, but one built on fear. A conditional love has elements of real love, but it is perverted and distorted and needs to be released from its conditions to become something it was meant to be. It is perfect love that drives out fear, for the recipient can rest assured that no matter their faults love will abound.
(At the same time real love doesn't mean making sure someone is always comfortable. Pain and discomfort are part of growth. If we believe loving someone is about fostering their growth and if we shield someone from all pain or discomfort, we do not love them. So let us not confuse loving someone with blindly making them comfortable, satisfying their desires, and shielding them from trials. If we do, we are only making it difficult for them to grow as human beings.)
Most of us have received little, if any, real Love. We prove that every day with the evidence of our unhappiness - our fear, anger, blaming, withdrawal, manipulation, controlling, and so on. People who know they're unconditionally loved don't feel and do those things. There is no fear, manipulation, conditions, or records of wrongs when real love is being given. True love is always and forever unconditional. Real love always hopes, always trusts, and always preservers. It does not boast. It is not easily angered. It rejoices in the truth. And it is never self-seeking. There is divine beauty in a relationship built on this kind of love reciprocated between two people.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find peace in our life. Change is the law of life. When we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer. The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mood of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form. Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot accept change cannot change anything. Christian Larsen explains the importance of change beautifully. Read and think.....
The greatest remedy in the world is change; and change implies the passing from the old to the new. It is also the only path that leads from the lesser to the greater, from the dream to the reality, from the wish to the heart's desire fulfilled.
It is change that brings us everything we want. It is the opposite of change that holds us back from that which we want. But change is not always external. Real change, or rather the cause of all change, is always internal.
It is the change in the within that first produces the change in the without. To go from place to place is not a change unless it produces a change of mind a renewal of mind.
It is the change of mind that is the change desired. It is the renewal of mind that produces better health, more happiness, greater power, the increase of life, and the consequent increase of all that is good in life. And the constant renewal of mind -- the daily change of mind -- is possible regardless of times, circumstances or places.
He who can change his mind every day and think the new about everything every day, will always be well; he will always have happiness; he will always be free; his life will always be interesting; he will constantly move forward into the larger, the richer and the better; and whatever is needed for his welfare today, of that he shall surely have abundance.
- Christian Larson