Thursday, March 24, 2011

When you have nothing to do …

Many of our work involve agitation, haste, and restlessness. Because people believe that if they are not all the time running about and bursting into fits of feverish activity, they are doing nothing. Even leisure time is not really peaceful. We make our vacations also into another form of work.

As Dr. George Sheehan tells “There was a time when we could sit and listen to our individual, internal rhythms, but now they can hardly be heard over the din of the mechanical clocks set up by school and business and society. Now we have commuting and TV, three-day weekends, and twelve-hour workdays, March migraines and April ulcers, twenty-one-year-old addicts and forty-five-year-old heart attacks.” And as Walter Kerr said, “We are all of us compelled to read for profit, party for contacts, lunch for contracts, bowl for unity, drive for mileage, gamble for charity, go out for the evening for the greater glory of the municipality and stay home for the weekend to rebuild the house”.

“Lacking an understanding of leisure, many of us become more and more alienated from life and from ourselves.” said Alexander Reid Martin. In fact, leisure is necessary for a full awareness. When we have nothing to do, we become restless, we go here and there, we meet people, we gossip and we watch television to name a few. Instead of that, it is better to sit down quietly and tell ourselves, “At last, I have some time to concentrate, to collect myself and to review how my life is going”. If we take care to do this whenever we get spare time we will maintain peace and poise in our life. Instead of wasting our time in chattering, in doing useless things, reading and indulge in things that lower our consciousness, it is useful to utilize the unoccupied moments to understand our life deeply.

In 1968, Stewart Wolf found that there is a relationship between leisure and mental health just as there is a relationship between leisure and physical health. He identified the inability to derive satisfaction from leisure activities as one of the contributing factors in heart disease and sudden death. John Howard, of the School of Business at the University of Western Ontario, found that people who handle tension effectively have developed a good division between work time and leisure time.

There are times when we can’t do anything, when inactivity is forced upon us: when we’re caught in a traffic jam; or obliged to wait in a doctor’s office, at an airport, or in a railway station; or when we are old and sick and simply waiting for death. When such inactivity is forced upon us we become frustrated, because we have never learned the value of such idle moments. We can use those moments also for self-awareness. In those moments just close your eyes. Relax yourself and look into your way of life. Don’t judge it and condemn it. Be just an observer. See the truth as it is. Do this whenever you find a free time, whether it is one hour or a few minutes. Unoccupied space is needed within you so that light of truth can fill your being. Slowly you will begin to change in right direction.


Monday, March 14, 2011

Be calm and patient

Do not be desirous of having
things done quickly. Do not
look at small advantages.
Desire to have things done
quickly prevents their being
done thoroughly. Looking
at small advantages prevents
great affairs from being

- Confucius (551 b.c.–479 b.c.)

The ancient Eastern masters cultivated a calm temperament through meditation, breathing exercises and awareness. As a result, the Eastern masters were able to develop a very strong and nearly imperturbable presence. Because they were not getting in their own way, in the face of danger they were pure action, maximally effective. This cultivation fed into a hyper-aware state of mind that prevents emotion-based responses.

In the long run, developing patience requires a change in your attitude about life, but you can immediately make progress by learning to relax whenever you feel impatient. Take a few deep breaths and just try to clear your mind. Concentrate on breathing and you'll be able to get your bearings.

The most effective way of gaining patience is by changing your point of view about life. Our lifestyles have a crucial role to play in our tolerance level. For that matter, stop living a very fast lifestyle, slow down and enjoy every moment of life. Make sure you spend an hour of every day meditating. Meditation is a great way to relax and increase your tolerance level.

Also, you need to be well aware of the events that trigger impatience in you. Knowing your weak points can help you control the problem. After knowing the events you can analyze why they cause impatience. There is always a reason for your behavior. Get to the depth of it. Be mature with things. Accept the fact that you will not always see results instantly, things take time to happen. Acceptance of this little fact will help you deal with situations without getting jittery and impatient.

Patience is a key ingredient in the process of the natural world and in our personal world. For instance, if you break a bone the healing process proceeds precisely at its own pace independent of any opinion you may have about it. That is the natural world at work. Your desire to have it fixed quickly is of absolutely no consequence. If you are impatient you will prevent it from healing thoroughly. Shakespeare wrote this truth beautifully, “How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degree?”

Abandon your conditioned means of evaluating yourself as successful or not on the basis of immediate indicators. If you have a knowing within that you are on a much higher mission than what might show up today, you will free yourself from the folly of those current results. To be ahead in the beginning of the game can be a big disadvantage if it obscures your vision for the entire game.

Be as patient with yourself, through all of your successes and disappointments. Know that God has always been with you. When you can turn a problem over to a higher authority to which you are connected, you immediately shift to that knowing state of infinite patience, and you stop looking for little indicators of success for today only. As the Oriental proverb says, “With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown.”


Friday, March 4, 2011

Dear Son,

Following is a letter to his son from a renowned Hong Kong TV broadcaster cum Child Psychologist. This letter is full of wisdom that comes from life experiences . One can learn so much from this letter. Though it is addressed to his son, each one us can be benefited from the message.

- N.Ganeshan

Dear Son ,

I am writing this to you because of 3 reasons

1. Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable, nobody knows how long he lives. Some words are better said early.

2. I am your father, and if I don't tell you these, no one else will.

3. What is written is my own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches.

Remember the following as you go through life

1. Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother and I. To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful, don't hastily regard him as a real friend.

2. No one is indispensable, nothing in the world that you must possess. Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don't want you anymore, or when you lose what/who you love most.

3.Life is short. When you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enj oy life.

4.Love is but a transient feeling, and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness. Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don't over exaggerate the sadness of falling out of love.

5.A lot of successful people did not receive a good education, that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard! Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life. One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags!

6.I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, neither would I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that, you decide whether you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor.

7.You honour your words, but don't expect others to be so. You can be good to people, but don't expe ct people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles.

8. I have bought lotteries for umpteen years, but I never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard! There is no free lunch!

9. No matter how much time I have with you, let's treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life.

Your Dad